Wednesday, October 31, 2007


This is a prime-time ensemble show with a regular cast and a rotating cast. It has an open format which leaves lots of room to try out new characters and ideas.


Hi Mike,

this is a format for a cartoon show that I hope you will like.

It's inspired by Jack Benny's Show from the 50s and 60s.
The Jack Benny Program had a really clever open format that allowed for more than one kind of TV humor. They did stand up, musical acts, situation comedy, slapstick - and even cartoon humor all in one show!

There are so many different kinds of cartoon humor that I like, and I wanted to come up with a way to use as many as we can think up. Sitcom, songs, satire, slapstick, surreal, wacky, tearjerkers...this format is open to all these types of stories and gags.



George, like Jack Benny is the host of the show. He opens the show with either a funny story or a rant about what's wrong with people who don't agree with him.

He can do this in the comfort of his manly Den.

Monologue Topics:

2 HAIRCUTS A WEEK - Just to be safe

The monologue will segue into a story - something that happened the other day...

ripple dissolve to....


SITCOM STORY- 12 minutes

These stories take place in George Liquor's neighborhood, Decentville, U.S. OF A. The neighborhood is filled with all kinds of characters and we get to know more about them with each episode.

The stories are sitcom style like the Simpsons or Family Guy but also have cartoon humor in them - like some of the Ren and Stimpy stories.

They are very character based. The humor exploits the personalities and conflicts between everyone.

The sitcom stories have a beginning, middle and end and resolve themselves at the end.




Then we go into a fake commercial for some funny sponsor.



Like Ren and Stimpy, The George Liquor show is sponsored by products that we make up.

Jack Benny was sponsored by Lucky Strike Cigarettes, so we could be sponsored by:


George Liquor can plug the cigarettes himself.

"Oh, they'll kill you all right. After all they're cigarettes! That's what they're designed for! The difference between Long Life and the other brands is that with Long Life, you might get 2, 3 more weeks!"


Duck Debeaker-removes duck bills without the mess. Now leaves tongues intact!
No-Waste Tastee Blender- grinds up anything-fish guts, and makes it taste like ice cream!

BUG SMASHER - Instant Bug Death (now in kid safe formula)
George looks out the window and asks for a volunteer. A flying Beetle puts up his hand and George says "Come on down!"
George asks the bug to introduce himself and tells the audience what a good sport he is.

George sprays instant Bug Death on the bottom of his shoe and then stomps the little bugger flat.

"Just spray a little of this crap on your shoes and watch it go to work!"

He looks down at the squashed beetle and tells him to pick up his prize after the show. A lifetime supply of Wayne Newton hits.

George then pulls out a bullet and sprays it.
"Bug Smasher works just as well on bullets too!"
George tosses himself belly down on the floor and starts madly firing into a roach motel.

George can also assure Moms that the spray is safe on kids. It mixes well with peanut butter.

We can have a few different sponsors and rotate them.



This is an age old question that George has to resolve again and again.

It stars George's nephews, Slab 'N' Ernie. Each week, Slab N' Ernie are trying to get out of doing homework because CARTOON CARNIVAL is coming on TV in a couple minutes.

George catches them trying to sneak out of the bedroom and gives them a lecture about homework and discipline.

The kids moan and go back to their homework. George peers over their shoulders. "Watcha studyin' anyway?"

Every Week A New Subject:
This becomes a running gag. Each week, George explodes when he finds out what they're teaching in school these days.


Slab tells George" We're learnin' 'bout EVOLUTION, Unca George!"

"What the Hell is EVIL-Lootion?"

Ernie explains that it's a theory that says we are all related to apes and monkeys.

"WHAAAAAAAATTTTT?" George explodes with rage and disbelief. "Lemme see that book!!"

He opens it to a double page spread of an illustration of animals evolving.

We see a duck crawling out of the sea evolving into a crawfish, then a springbok and a crocodile, then a flying kangaroo, an ape in a tree and then finally George in a loin cloth. All the animals have George's face.

George tosses the book into the fire and says "Forget your homework. Let's watch some all-American Cartoony -Type Pictures kids!"


The history books have all been rewritten by lesbians, so now the Declaration Of Independence was written by environmentalists and the first American President was Geronimo.


Each week George opts to let the kids watch "The Cartoony Pictures" on TV rather than further their left wing education.

They get the TV trays out and sit down to watch "Cartoon Carnival" which has a rotating schedule of zany cartoons...


This can be a different cartoon each week. This way we can try out new characters on the audience to see which ones catch on.

A regular series would feature He Hog the Atomic Pig:

He Hog's Powers

He Hog's Secret Identities



But we could also do many other characters and just try everything.
Links To More Shows

During the cartoons, we can cut back to George and the kids watching them.

George like most Dads, doesn't get cartoons.

"What the Hell is a cartoon anyway? Just a bunch of flying colors and crazy voices?"

We could show his POV, and all he sees are blobs of abstract colors moving around.
The kids keep telling him to shut up. They feel every emotion in the cartoons and George is dumbfounded.



After the cartoon is over, George decides "At least that's a lot better than the crap they teach you in schools these days!

Tell you what. Go outside and do everything you see in the cartoonies!"

The kids go outside and jump off roofs and blow each other up with firecrackers and end up in the hospital.

George is visiting. "Well now you've learned something!"

Everyone waves goodbye to the TV audience. "G'bye folks! See you next time! Ya bunch of commies!"



Don't forget how good we are at animating sexy girls! Hopefully this would be a ratings grabbing ingredient in the George Liquor Variety Program.


Ryan G. said...

Oh man! George Liquor is the best! Please make this show!

Mitch K said...

I would LOVE to see this stuff on TV. There's no good cartoons on these days. There's just the same old crap on -- not enough fresh ideas to keep me watching.

NextGen (Hector) said...

I think this show would be good on a premium channel like HBO or Showtime where there aren't any censors.

Charlie J. said...

I would kill to see this on TV. It would give John a chance to showcase all his ideas, and would be very successfull. I would watch this, and I know about thirty other people who would.

Dave_the_Turnip said...

man, i didn't see this post when i made my comment on the "Who is George Liquor" post.

I would definitely pay for this. It sounds brilliant!

Especially the extra cartoon to try out different characters. It'd be like the "What a Cartoon" show with less suck.

NateBear said...

I' dpay for this. I'd volunteer my puny cartooning skills in service of this creation. O ri could just be some intern type thing. Anything to get this made. Even... GHASP!

amir avni said...

A variety show is an excellent format, because it leaves plenty of freedom for originality, creativity and surprise.

Entertainment nowadays is not surprising, The same character types and situations keep being re-made in countless of TV shows and Movies, the audience is losing interest.

One of the reasons for Ren and Stimpy's success was the surprise element, and the surprises were character driven. They were well established characters, not limited to time and space, only to their relationship, which kept them believable. They could go anywhere- the wild west, the Galapagos Island, even a black hole and remain believable, and entertaining.
We didn't knew where they'd end up each week, it could be ANYwhere, and that's why we kept watching, to be surprised, and entertained by those characters.

Characters are more appealing than any other aspect of a show, and therefore they have the highest marquee value.
Good cartoon character, like Popeye and Bugs Bunny still sell products today, because they are so likebale and memorable.
It takes REAL cartoonists with REAL creativity to come up with characters that last, John Kricafalusi is one of them.

Characters HAVE to be iconic,because they end up selling dolls, t-shirts and other merchandise.
The more iconic your characters are, the better they will sell.
The more surprising and entertaining their stories are, the more we will want to see them.

Anonymous said...

Ok, THIS needs to be sponsored, this is your best idea yet, John, better than Ren & Stimpy or He-hog by itself.

Can you do some Wally Man cartoons in that last segment, too?

This show could have a Stephen Colbert type feel to it. You could do ironic rants and "Special Comment" segments like O'Reilly or Olberman or Springer.

Every episode could hvae a theme or lesson, and at the end George teaches the children right from wrong.

He could have Colbert-type character arcs, like the network tries to cahnge his show for a few episodes and he rebels against it.

In any case, this idea is GENIUS. I'd buy it!

rex said...

Brilliant! The world needs George Liquor's guidance!

Max Ward said...

Genius! So much in one show!

Ben Forbes said...

These are great. I love seeing stuff like this. Are we going to see more than George Liquor?

I saw something about Zodiac Girls and you havent really mentioned it on the blogs of yours.

Agustin Croxatto said...

This could be a really great show!! I laughed out loud while I was reading it!!

Bhob said...

\\Man the show is already full of awesome new characters, but if I could make one small suggestion...

Mr. Horse.

I think he could make a great school principal. The kids would stand in silent fear as he walks down the hall way. All the sound drops out except for an echo-y "clip. clop. clip. clop..."

I know you're probably reluctant to reuse old characters, but since even George Liquor was on the Ren and Stimpy show, I think you should make an exception for Mr. Horse, who is an undeniable crowd pleaser.

Taco Wiz said...

This show looks awesome! Even if none of these pitches get picked up by a network, I'm glad that John K. is writing some interesting stories for me to read on here.

Callum said...

This looks amazing. I posted my comment about this in another topic on this blog accidentally, but I'll copy it into this topic when it gets published
(in a nutshell, looks amazing)

murrayb said...

This is the best pich I have ever read. Satire, cartoonyness, sex, violence, comedy and limitless variety for my popculture melted brain.I want to watch this show tonight. Let's hope some executive type sees the genius of this.

Anonymous said...

There's a ton of great stuff in this pitch. That part where Liquor is wondering what a cartoon is priceless! Especially since Liquor's a cartoon himself. I hope some executive out there is reading this pitch.

smackmonkey said...

I agree with amir avni's take on the variety show model. Most cartoons of current/recent vintage are so locked in stone by pre-production planning that nothing new or truly surprising ever happens. A variety show may be just the ticket to break this unentertaining trend.

Nice butterfly-like roof on the liquor store, too. Good ol' Van Nuys googie. There's no place like home...

Gregg said...

People would watch every week just to see which cartoons are on.

I would love to see HE-HOG cartoons.

The overly long named moose and bear look VERY funny, and entertaining.

I could only imagine what you'd do with all those crazy looking flat characters.
(Georges, Pablo, Fump, Jim, and Silly)

I think Bubba Bruin has a ton of possibilities.

Professor Mole, Dimbulb Duck, AND.....

This could be huge.

So many different show possibilities, packed into only one show.


Anonymous said...

My favorites are "bottled city of human women", "imitate everything you see in cartoons" 'cause I've done that, and ANY sexy girl cartoons. Awesome, awesome stuff!

Shawn said...

Hot Damn!
This is the cartoon show I've been waiting for my entire life!!!! The format is PERFECT for TV, and for cartoons, and for Spumco! It will have room for the artists to be creative, and the audience will keep being surprised with every new episode! And most importantly, it will make people laugh and keep coming back for more (just reading the ideas made me laugh). I'll watch this show EVERY day, and spend ALL my cash on the merchandise! I'm begging...PLEASE MAKE THIS SHOW!!!!!!!

Kasey said...

What happend to your influence with classic cartoons? Your original show, Ren & Stimpy, was obviously insprired by the Golden Age, which is one of the things that made that show so wonderful and fun. But now, that infuence is gone. I see nothing but gross-out jokes we've seen WAY too many times in cartoons these days.
I don't mean to sound like I'm insulting you, I just hope you have'nt forgotten the beloved classics, as I see plenty of Simpsons influence on here. :)
-Hoping this show comes through, Kasey Kockroach

Raff said...

I miss those fake commercials.

The more unpredictable this show is, the more I'll watch it.

This is what TV should be. Reality TV will soon be out of style.

Jose said...


hahahaha!! george liquor's great: this guy's always exploding with life, energy - great fun character.


john, this is really really great. i hope to God or whoever, that this show gets made.

ah! the idea of a cartoon variety show. great! so much STUFF. so much entertainment is possible in one goddamn episode.

a chance for more HE HOG?? YES!!! that character is its own show alone. come on!

so many possibilities here. so much variation. the secret cartoon suprise. the rotating fake ads. monologues. anecdotes. stories.

...and spumco's sexy girls...of course!

i'm getting too excited already at the thought of this show ACTUALLY EXISTING...eventually, when it comes out on dvd, owning it, recommending it, and holding it in awe: much like i did recently with the new R & S. long comment. i'm a fan. so sue me.

MAKE THIS SHOW HAPPEN!! I HAVE CONSUMER MONEY! AND A CARTOON FANBOY HEART! and plenty of exclamation points to boot.

Joel Bryan said...

Note to networks: I'd watch this. I live in Japan but I have a massive amount of disposable income and I'd be willing to lavish it on the products of your advertisers were their wares to appear in this program.

Tim said...

This idea is beyond awesome and I would watch every episode and tell all my friends.

Gabriel said...

finally a show that would make me watch tv again!!

Mitch K said...

TV needs more Cigarettes the Cat.

Kris said...

Okay, I LOVE the Bug Smasher ad. I also really like the fact that this format allows you to do one-shot cartoons.

I'd love to see this on TV.

tugboats2k2 said...

I may not vote for the President of this great nation, but I cast my vote to bring THE GEORGE LIQUOR CARTOONY TYPE VARIETY SHOW on the air immediately.

I also see possibilities of extending the show to the web where the world could submit their own short variety clips of animation or video in hope of stardom.

Callum said...

Sorry- here's the comment I meant to leave for this post:

This show really excites me. The formula is great, as proven by your (John's) Mighty Mouse posts, and the fake ads (if Ren and Stimpy are anything to go by) are similarly great.
I think the fact that this show could showcase a different Spumco cartoon each week is excellent, and could even lead to highly successful spinoffs, there success being based on the reception they recieve in the show (Like all those showcase shows in the 90's that launched some of the best cartoons of recent years, dexter's lab, cow and chicken, powerpuff girls etc. execs- take note)
The fact that there hasn't been a cartoon like this before (or at least in my lifetime)would make it ground-breakingly successful, I'm sure, and with Mr. K at the helm it's sure to be hilarious for people of all ages.

Jim said...

Crapface the Duck made me laugh

Oliver_A said...

This is so unfair, after reading your pitch, I want this show RIGHT NOW!!!

The format is clearly developed as a breeding ground for lots of experiments and innovations, and right now, this is what animation desperately needs.

Any executives reading this: you can't lose with this concept. Give John K. the creative freedom to make this show, and you are going to have a straight winner. It's so frustrating to read his blog, realizing that such an exceptional talent, willing to share his knowledge for free, should really be out there to make cartoons again, doing what he does best: entertain and surprise us!

Annette said...

You had me at "bikini salesman"
I also love the way you drew George's den, and that smug look of comfort and superiority on his face.
I wonder what netork would show cartoon boobs besides HBO...FX?

harpo said...

This show is gonna be goddamn funny!
Wish ya all the luck John!

e. banks said...


Please get this show made.
Put all your other characters as B-cartoons and make one super, awesome show.

e banks

Tikigeo said...

So goodthat I would watch TV to see it. I'll pray to the cartoon gods to make it so.

Jósel said...

This show just reeks of awesomeness!
The part about "Imitating what you see on cartoons" is one of my favorites.

I just can't imagine somebody not liking this pitch

JohnH said...

Holy smokes, this would be awesome. It's so awesome that it actually makes me say "Holy smokes!" It would be full of win.

Kevin said...

I gotta say I was doubtful at first, but some of that had me laughing! Kudos!

Personally I like the George Liquor narration parts best.

Fred said...

Im Giddy with anticipation! And those chicks are definitely hot. Speaking of that, would you consider doing a drawing for a tattoo? I have an idea that your style of girls would be great for.