Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Wild Elkdom



Wild Elkdom
George and Jimmy go hunting.

George tells Jimmy all about the beauty of nature as they ride to the wilderness in a huge 4 by 4. We need our walls to be as beautiful as the wild - only dead!


Nature Show Being Filmed

While they hunt, we keep cutting away to a jeep driven by an elk. The Elk’s TV crew rides with him.

The elk has a nature show that other elks watch, called Wild Elkdom. It plays on the Man Planet TV network.

Today the Elk naturalists are studying the habits of humans in the wild.


Goose Bumps and Piss Willies

As George stalks animals in the forest, he keeps feeling like he’s being watched. He hears rustling and looks over his shoulder. The Elks quickly camouflage their jeep as a suburban house.

George is appeased for the moment, but remains suspicious.

The elks wear trophy plaques around their necks. When George looks at them, they turn their heads down and stare straight ahead like mounted trophies. This fools George.

Tranquilizer

The elk shoots Jimmy and George with a tranquilizer gun.
The boys lay still, frightened, helpless. They stare up at the scientists with wet cow eyes. Pitiful.

The elks get in for a close look.

Elks Study Human Anatomy

They take the clothes off the boys.
The elks study the human anatomy and explain what they see to the TV audience.
They misread what each human anatomical structure is for.

The elk host points out their hair. “We can see by their brush cuts (crew cuts) that these are amphibious humans. The brush cut has evolved to help humans filter feed plankton.”

Mating

The elk checks Jimmy out, decides that he is the female of the pair.
“The male is the attractive gender of the human species.
Note the slight build and the blander appearance of the female. “

From behind a bush, other male humans leer at Jimmy.

The elk places the boys in the “mating position”. He folds Jimmy in two and gently lays his butt on George’s ear.

George whispers to Jimmy how demeaning the situation is.

Love Is Universal
The elk explains how love is universal and a beautiful act, even in the human kingdom.
Elk Family Watches Show
In a middle class elk family’s lair, Dad, Mom and the kids watch “Wild Elkdom”.
Do Humans Go To Heaven?
Junior elk asks Dad, “Daddy, do humans go to heaven?”
Dad says, “I’m afraid not, son.”
Little Tabitha Elk says, “I wanna human puppy for Christmas.” Mom says, “Those are wild humans, Tabitha. Maybe we’ll get a tame one at the pet store.”

Elks Tag The Boys

The elks tag the boys, so they can study their migration habits.
The elks give them another shot and run back to the jeep.

The Boys Come To

The effects of the tranquilizers wear off slowly. The boys stagger on all fours.George takes a shot of rye whisky and gives Jimmy a slug. “This’ll get the blood circulating.””I never wanna go through that again.”

4 comments:

lastangelman said...

HOLY TOLEDO! I'd see that, that is funny to read! Imagine how you'd animate it ... somebody throw lots and lots of money at John K, he needs something bigger than Pixar so we can make 100% American cartoons right here in America, even if it is in Southern California. The man's a genius. Just give him money and let him do what does best and don't interfere. Your kids will understand.

Sphyzex_9 said...

Sounds like an obvious hit to me.

Callum said...

This show really excites me. The formula is great, as proven by your (John's) Mighty Mouse posts, and the fake ads (if Ren and Stimpy are anything to go by) are similarly great.
I think the fact that this show could showcase a different Spumco cartoon each week is excellent, and could even lead to highly successful spinoffs, there success being based on the reception they recieve in the show (Like all those showcase shows in the 90's that launched some of the best cartoons of recent years, dexter's lab, cow and chicken, powerpuff girls etc. execs- take note)
The fact that there hasn't been a cartoon like this before (or at least in my lifetime)would make it ground-breakingly successful, I'm sure, and with Mr. K at the helm it's sure to be hilarious for people of all ages.

Neural Test Subject #645-3 said...

By God, Mr. Kricfalusi! This stuff is gold!!! I'm literally holding in my sides!

"Wild Elkdom" and "Bomb Shelter" must be animated. These two are amazing. And slam He-Hog, Kaspar the Unfriendly Bear, and The Heataches, and this has the makings of a fine post-Spumco TV cartoon!