[SITUATION: Kaspar is usually the one who irritates the Rangers of Ruthenia. Miserable the Disagreeable Moose comes along and pesters the Rangers. Kaspar Bear must challenge Miserable’s meanness in order to assert his authority.]
Morning
Kaspar wakes up one morning. Sun shining through hole in his tree. He wipes the crud off his eyes (add joke-what does he do with it?)
EVERYONE ALREADY CRYING
He goes outside and is surprised to see everyone already sad and crying.
Pan with him. He stops in shock
Everybody is already crying – pan across them
Kaspar asks what happened
They say “you’re too late. Someone has already been mean to us!”
Kaspar is furious!!
Kaspar: “Who? Who has been been despoiling my territory?”
He demands to know who has been encroaching on his territory and finds out that it’s Miserable The Disagreeable Moose.
MEAN OFF
He tracks Miserable down and challenges him to a Mean Off. Whoever wins, gets to keep Kaspar’s territory.
The two meanies are squared off while the other forest denizens boo on their favorite.
Kaspar chews tobacco.
He wipes the chewing tobacco across the side of Miserable’s face: “How do you like that? Got any complaints? You want some more?”
Miserable burns as he wipes off the tobacco.
He peels his lips back and spits in Kaspar’s face.
MRS. MISERABLE
Kaspar sees a female moose watching the battle.
Kaspar: “Is that your wife over there?”
Miserable: “Yeah.”
Kaspar goes over and kisses Miserable’s wife.
Kaspar has won this round and poor Miserable leaves, dejected.
Baby (Precious, the Human Baby)
Walking home: Well I guess I showed him! I can hardly wait to realax and play with Precious, my human baby.
Kaspar Bear comes home after a hard day’s work, ready to relax and play with his baby.
A note is pinned to cave door. It reads: I couldn’t stand the smell and had to leave. Signed, the Babysitter.
Baby is Stinky
Kaspar goes inside, over to the baby crib.
He picks his (human) baby out of the crib, sniffs it.
Kaspar: “My baby smells horrible! What gives?”
Then it dons on Kaspar what happened.
Kaspar Marches across the steppes
Kaspar stomps outside. He walks over a mountain and down into a new section of forest.
He knocks on a tree.
Miserable's Home
A door opens. It’s Miserable the Disagreeable Moose.
Kaspar is mad. He pokes his finger into the Moose’s shoulder and says, “You farted on my baby, didn’t you?!”
Miserable gloats an evil gleeful smile of triumph.
Kaspar: “That was really lowww!
Y’know,
I gotta hand it to you. I like that.
In fact, I like you!
And I don’t like anybody!”
Kaspar: “You owe me ten bucks for the baby-sitter!”
1 comment:
Not sure if you accept joke suggestions, but I was thinking about your pitch and had an idea for what Kaspar does with his eye gunk.
What if after wiping his eyes, Kaspar and sprinkles the eye crud infront of the hole of a starving Mouse. The Mouse, thinking Kaspar took pity on him and just shared his 'cookie crumbs', eagerly gobbles up the eye gunk, but then chokes to death after tasting the foul crumbs. Kaspar starts to laugh, but then stops once he hears the other animals crying, which makes him go outside to see what's up.
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